Worst Masters Ever.....
The following is the running diary of the 2007 Masters Tournament...So Let It BE Written..So Let IT Be Done.
First some Ten Commandments commentary.
Is it wrong that Pharoah Ramses II grows on me every time I watch "The Ten Commandments", to the point I kind of want him to catch Moses at the end ?
Jethro of Mideon was a Piiimmmppp......
From my Cold Dead Hand...
The Burning Bush scene needs the Micheal Bay treatment. The whole film needs it actually. The wrath of god just doesn't have the same zing...
On to the Golf....A Tradition like No other, ....Except for Easter...or Passover...or crappy episodes of "LOST"...
Thursday 8:00 am
Here we go...Tiger, Phil, VJ, The Goose, and Mike Weir. A Tradition like no other...cue sappy CBS music....
No golf event conjures up the lure of the Masters. In many ways it is the last vestege of golfs' isolated past. However, with the Era of Tiger the appeal of the tournament as more then just for stuffy mint julip drinking racists has declined. Now the course only descriminates against the Ladies, which most men are down with.
2:00 pm
Most everyone is out on the coarse. The weather is awful. If scores stay as bad as they are now, I may have to actually go to church this weekend...
Friday 12:00 pm
After a very shaky start, the big names have to regroup, but this is not new. Many new faces, especially Justin Rose and Zach Johnson.
For people who play fantasy golf like me, having these two lads step up is a good thing.
The weather still sucks, but I am looking for Tiger to start turning heads. Phil looks uninspired.
Stewart Appleby is a great golfer. It is good Austrialia has moved on from the Greg Norman Era. That country is like a fusion of the best of Europe and America. Here is some more Proof. Could a new Paul Hogan movie be far away? I think not.
Saturday 4:00 pm
Friday's scores were terrible. The weather is too much for these guys.
You would think that if Tiger practices in Hurricanes that this shouldn't affect him, but he is golfing like a crack whore right now.
Forget about Phil , but here comes the Goose.
CBS is betting that Tiger can make a run, or they will loose money this year...
Saturday 6:00 pm
Tiger has started to make a move, but bogeys 17. My ass hurts from watching Tiger struggle for so long.
The weather is consistently refered to as "The worst in 50 years". Naturally, I blame it on ManBearPig.
Double Ouch for Appleby, who plays like a girl in the last three holes, and see's his lead evaporate.
The scores are awful. The golf is boring. I'm going to see Grindhouse.
Sunday 1:00
I hate watching old Golf footage. Its lame...Dennis Miller lame....
I want to fall asleep. The Masters has become as random and lame as Reno 911 or Napoleon Dynomite.
Sunday 5:00
Sabbitini is fading. Appleby is done. Johsson is surging. I am high on peanut butter eggs.
Jim Nantz is bad at announcing Basketball. He is awful at Golf. He fances himself the keeper of some mythical flame. He should be replaced with Steven A. Smith.
Even on the final day of the Masters, as the end is near, with Tiger two stokes off the lead, I find myself watching The Good Sheppard instead.
Now, I thought this film was boring the first time I watched it. But the sight of a +1 winning the Masters is enough for me to somehow view Matt Damon's performance on par with that of Kurt Russell in Grindhouse.
Zach Johnson wins with a +1, 289.
The Masters, a Tradition like the Buick Classic .......in El Paso..Sponsered by Hooters and Ben Affleck......Good Grief....
Next time I do this, I will pick a sporting event with balls...like the Kentucky Derby.....
Now I get to watch the Red Sox on national TV.
God, Joe Morgan is terrible, its like if Family Guy focused solely on Meg Griffin.
Strength and Honor.....
First some Ten Commandments commentary.
Is it wrong that Pharoah Ramses II grows on me every time I watch "The Ten Commandments", to the point I kind of want him to catch Moses at the end ?
Jethro of Mideon was a Piiimmmppp......
From my Cold Dead Hand...
The Burning Bush scene needs the Micheal Bay treatment. The whole film needs it actually. The wrath of god just doesn't have the same zing...
On to the Golf....A Tradition like No other, ....Except for Easter...or Passover...or crappy episodes of "LOST"...
Thursday 8:00 am
Here we go...Tiger, Phil, VJ, The Goose, and Mike Weir. A Tradition like no other...cue sappy CBS music....
No golf event conjures up the lure of the Masters. In many ways it is the last vestege of golfs' isolated past. However, with the Era of Tiger the appeal of the tournament as more then just for stuffy mint julip drinking racists has declined. Now the course only descriminates against the Ladies, which most men are down with.
2:00 pm
Most everyone is out on the coarse. The weather is awful. If scores stay as bad as they are now, I may have to actually go to church this weekend...
Friday 12:00 pm
After a very shaky start, the big names have to regroup, but this is not new. Many new faces, especially Justin Rose and Zach Johnson.
For people who play fantasy golf like me, having these two lads step up is a good thing.
The weather still sucks, but I am looking for Tiger to start turning heads. Phil looks uninspired.
Stewart Appleby is a great golfer. It is good Austrialia has moved on from the Greg Norman Era. That country is like a fusion of the best of Europe and America. Here is some more Proof. Could a new Paul Hogan movie be far away? I think not.
Saturday 4:00 pm
Friday's scores were terrible. The weather is too much for these guys.
You would think that if Tiger practices in Hurricanes that this shouldn't affect him, but he is golfing like a crack whore right now.
Forget about Phil , but here comes the Goose.
CBS is betting that Tiger can make a run, or they will loose money this year...
Saturday 6:00 pm
Tiger has started to make a move, but bogeys 17. My ass hurts from watching Tiger struggle for so long.
The weather is consistently refered to as "The worst in 50 years". Naturally, I blame it on ManBearPig.
Double Ouch for Appleby, who plays like a girl in the last three holes, and see's his lead evaporate.
The scores are awful. The golf is boring. I'm going to see Grindhouse.
Sunday 1:00
I hate watching old Golf footage. Its lame...Dennis Miller lame....
I want to fall asleep. The Masters has become as random and lame as Reno 911 or Napoleon Dynomite.
Sunday 5:00
Sabbitini is fading. Appleby is done. Johsson is surging. I am high on peanut butter eggs.
Jim Nantz is bad at announcing Basketball. He is awful at Golf. He fances himself the keeper of some mythical flame. He should be replaced with Steven A. Smith.
Even on the final day of the Masters, as the end is near, with Tiger two stokes off the lead, I find myself watching The Good Sheppard instead.
Now, I thought this film was boring the first time I watched it. But the sight of a +1 winning the Masters is enough for me to somehow view Matt Damon's performance on par with that of Kurt Russell in Grindhouse.
Zach Johnson wins with a +1, 289.
The Masters, a Tradition like the Buick Classic .......in El Paso..Sponsered by Hooters and Ben Affleck......Good Grief....
Next time I do this, I will pick a sporting event with balls...like the Kentucky Derby.....
Now I get to watch the Red Sox on national TV.
God, Joe Morgan is terrible, its like if Family Guy focused solely on Meg Griffin.
Strength and Honor.....
Labels: The Grindhouse, The Masters. Family Guy, The Ten Commandments
posted by The Dude at
5:31 PM
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