The 1/20/09 Chronicles
On the day that Chris Cornell leaves Audioslave and a planet of Rock fans turn their eyes to the upcoming RATM reunion, The Prez lets out his grief with a commentary on the newest favorite to win the Republican Primary. So in his latest installment of the 1/20/09 Chronicles, with the help of Elvis Costello the Prez asks,
What’s so Funny about Rudy?
Recent polls and biased liberal news outlets have begun to show perennial candidate John “The Next Big Thing” McCain slipping in the hearts and minds of conservatives everywhere. Who has begun to warm these cold hearted bastards with his hot island songs? It is “America’s Mayor” Rudolph Giuliani. Not since Diamond Joe Quimby has a Mayor held the perception of masculinity and supreme political prowess while doing so little. Since he left office in 2001, Giuliani founded Giuliani Partners, a security consulting business, acquired Giuliani Capital Advisors, an investment banking firm, and joined the Bracewell & Giuliani law firm. Something tells me Giuliani has Bracewell’s vote, but why on earth would anyone else vote for this guy?
What else….9/11.
Guilani first gained prominence as a hardcore prosecutor. This is the guy who indicted Anthony “Fat Tony” Salerno”, the head of the Genovese crime family. As a Mayor from 1993-2001 Giuliani was a controversial, typical Yankee fan. He “cleaned” up Times Square with a “redevelopment project”. Without the spin, this means he pretty much closed the peep shows and bussed the homeless people up state. Viacom was happy. Giuliani embraced illegal immigrants, and became a media savvy politician. However, his personal life has long been a mess. This is not a gossip column, so let’s just assume it has been funky and leave it at that.
However, the sight of Giuliani, mask and all, trying to coordinate the emergency services that awful day was really something. On that day, Rudy Giuliani gained so much in the minds of American’s, some would say he almost profited more then the Carlyle Group on 9/11. In that moment all of this man’s short comings in the eyes of the peeps were vanquished. The corruption in City Call, the Gestapo tactics toward the poor, the bizzaro outing of his affair with Judith Nathan, the rage of Mets fans after the 2000 World Series. All of it…gone in an instant.
This Cat was named Time magazine’s 2001 Person of the Year. He received an Honorary Knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. He was a member of the Iraq Study Group.
Despite this, not since 2001 has Guliani been the poster child for the Republican Party. Staying relevant has been a problem, as so much has transpired since then. The War in Afghanistan was botched, the War in Iraq turned into another Vietnam, and Curse of the Giambino turned the Yankees into the Texas Rangers. However, both political parties are now in transition phases. In recent weeks Giuliani has highlighted his concerns for securing America’s economic and military future, not to mention lots of talk about Homeland Security. Ahhh…His bread and butter.
You know Wall Street is a big fan. The Conservative business community has long been the baby huey of the Republican Party. As the religious right reexamines how to take over the world on the “back” of Sam Brownback, Giuliani shakes the hands of centrists and conservatives in places like New Hampshire, Iowa, and California.
Will this win Giuliani the Republican Primary? Logic says the South will need to get on board big time. Something they are very reluctant to do. Which means Rudy best get on his knees. However, when 9/11 is the beginning, middle, and end of every aspect of your campaign in the minds of the ‘folks, anything is possible in America. Just ask the Boy Prince.
Of the Wesleyan Nine, the original RG right now is ahead of “The Next Big Thing” 7-2. Very Bizarre….but what do expect from people who still get information from the Radio.
What’s so Funny about Rudy?
Recent polls and biased liberal news outlets have begun to show perennial candidate John “The Next Big Thing” McCain slipping in the hearts and minds of conservatives everywhere. Who has begun to warm these cold hearted bastards with his hot island songs? It is “America’s Mayor” Rudolph Giuliani. Not since Diamond Joe Quimby has a Mayor held the perception of masculinity and supreme political prowess while doing so little. Since he left office in 2001, Giuliani founded Giuliani Partners, a security consulting business, acquired Giuliani Capital Advisors, an investment banking firm, and joined the Bracewell & Giuliani law firm. Something tells me Giuliani has Bracewell’s vote, but why on earth would anyone else vote for this guy?
What else….9/11.
Guilani first gained prominence as a hardcore prosecutor. This is the guy who indicted Anthony “Fat Tony” Salerno”, the head of the Genovese crime family. As a Mayor from 1993-2001 Giuliani was a controversial, typical Yankee fan. He “cleaned” up Times Square with a “redevelopment project”. Without the spin, this means he pretty much closed the peep shows and bussed the homeless people up state. Viacom was happy. Giuliani embraced illegal immigrants, and became a media savvy politician. However, his personal life has long been a mess. This is not a gossip column, so let’s just assume it has been funky and leave it at that.
However, the sight of Giuliani, mask and all, trying to coordinate the emergency services that awful day was really something. On that day, Rudy Giuliani gained so much in the minds of American’s, some would say he almost profited more then the Carlyle Group on 9/11. In that moment all of this man’s short comings in the eyes of the peeps were vanquished. The corruption in City Call, the Gestapo tactics toward the poor, the bizzaro outing of his affair with Judith Nathan, the rage of Mets fans after the 2000 World Series. All of it…gone in an instant.
This Cat was named Time magazine’s 2001 Person of the Year. He received an Honorary Knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. He was a member of the Iraq Study Group.
Despite this, not since 2001 has Guliani been the poster child for the Republican Party. Staying relevant has been a problem, as so much has transpired since then. The War in Afghanistan was botched, the War in Iraq turned into another Vietnam, and Curse of the Giambino turned the Yankees into the Texas Rangers. However, both political parties are now in transition phases. In recent weeks Giuliani has highlighted his concerns for securing America’s economic and military future, not to mention lots of talk about Homeland Security. Ahhh…His bread and butter.
You know Wall Street is a big fan. The Conservative business community has long been the baby huey of the Republican Party. As the religious right reexamines how to take over the world on the “back” of Sam Brownback, Giuliani shakes the hands of centrists and conservatives in places like New Hampshire, Iowa, and California.
Will this win Giuliani the Republican Primary? Logic says the South will need to get on board big time. Something they are very reluctant to do. Which means Rudy best get on his knees. However, when 9/11 is the beginning, middle, and end of every aspect of your campaign in the minds of the ‘folks, anything is possible in America. Just ask the Boy Prince.
Of the Wesleyan Nine, the original RG right now is ahead of “The Next Big Thing” 7-2. Very Bizarre….but what do expect from people who still get information from the Radio.
Labels: 9/11, America, Elvis Costello, New York, Primaries, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani
posted by The Dude at
5:07 PM
2 Comments:
Prez, I love it. Job very well done on Giuliani. My disagreement lies with your assessment that he's the favorite. I admit that, if he wins the primary, he'll be the favorite to win the general election. However, I just can't see an increasingly conservative party nominate him. The media will continue to sweat him, but the voters aren't necessarily going to follow this time.
The Rumour is that Karl Rove is planning to jump ship this fall, and may end up with Team Giuliani before the primary.
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