Rocky Balboa
This is the Prez’s long awaited official review of the film “Rocky Balboa”. Stallone used HGH to get into shape for the film. Maybe he should have just taken smack instead....
When I heard that Sylvester Stallone was planning on making a sixth and final installment of the Rocky series called “Rocky Balboa”.I felt it was a big joke. I have long felt the Rocky V, where a financially bankrupt Rocky trains an up and coming Tommy Morrison only to be screwed by brain damage, being an awful father, the pit falls of the fight game, and eventually brawls in the street with the shady boxing promoter was the worst movie that was ever made. I saw Rocky V twice, and ritualistically blocked its existence from my memory. However, the conversation would inevitably come up, which Rocky is better?, or Why was Rocky V made? Over the past 17 years, I found that it was about 80/20 that people would concur with my analysis. I always assumed the 20 percent were also into other awful things, like crack or genocide.
When “Rocky Balboa” opened I was still unable to bring myself to pay money to see another Rocky film. I wanted the last image of the Rocky character to be as the picture of enlightened progressive America with his amazing Cold War ending victory speech. I read Bill Simmons shaky review and two part mailbag. Thankfully the film passed by with a mixed reaction, and I never thought twice about not going.
This week I found myself was standing in Blockbuster with a copy of Erin Brockovich in hand. A shitty film yes, but perfect for teaching “Toxic Torts” to Law classes of seniors already thinking about the summer and the rest of their lives. I picked up a copy of The Prestige, a fine film, and made my way to the check outline. Then I heard the music and saw the trailer. So I decided to view the sixth installment of a series that has been dead for 17 years, and rented “Ricky Balboa”. I figured what the hey…If yoose can change…and I can change….
I don’t think my life will ever be the same. We live in a time of great uncertainty, when we cling to the hope that the basic elements of our society can come together on a daily basis to bring a semblance of tranquility and peace. As a cynic, I am blown away when my expectations are exceeded, which thankfully happens everyday. When it comes to films, all I ask is that the films I see be as good or better then the ideas I have for my scripts. Thus, watching “Rocky Balboa” was like being tortured over….and over…..and over again. It could not have been more pathetic. Thankfully, most my regular readers have seen it, so I won’t have to get into specifics. Had I spent $9.00 to see it in a theater, I would have gone to Stallone house to ask for my money back. It went from lame and boring to smaltz and shit back and forth and back and forth. When it was over I felt like I had witnessed a gangland murder. I felt sick,….and dirty.
I had to watch the entire first season of The Boondocks” in order to start feeling normal again.
If you haven't seen this film, consider yourself blessed.
Until next time,
The Godfather out
When I heard that Sylvester Stallone was planning on making a sixth and final installment of the Rocky series called “Rocky Balboa”.I felt it was a big joke. I have long felt the Rocky V, where a financially bankrupt Rocky trains an up and coming Tommy Morrison only to be screwed by brain damage, being an awful father, the pit falls of the fight game, and eventually brawls in the street with the shady boxing promoter was the worst movie that was ever made. I saw Rocky V twice, and ritualistically blocked its existence from my memory. However, the conversation would inevitably come up, which Rocky is better?, or Why was Rocky V made? Over the past 17 years, I found that it was about 80/20 that people would concur with my analysis. I always assumed the 20 percent were also into other awful things, like crack or genocide.
When “Rocky Balboa” opened I was still unable to bring myself to pay money to see another Rocky film. I wanted the last image of the Rocky character to be as the picture of enlightened progressive America with his amazing Cold War ending victory speech. I read Bill Simmons shaky review and two part mailbag. Thankfully the film passed by with a mixed reaction, and I never thought twice about not going.
This week I found myself was standing in Blockbuster with a copy of Erin Brockovich in hand. A shitty film yes, but perfect for teaching “Toxic Torts” to Law classes of seniors already thinking about the summer and the rest of their lives. I picked up a copy of The Prestige, a fine film, and made my way to the check outline. Then I heard the music and saw the trailer. So I decided to view the sixth installment of a series that has been dead for 17 years, and rented “Ricky Balboa”. I figured what the hey…If yoose can change…and I can change….
I don’t think my life will ever be the same. We live in a time of great uncertainty, when we cling to the hope that the basic elements of our society can come together on a daily basis to bring a semblance of tranquility and peace. As a cynic, I am blown away when my expectations are exceeded, which thankfully happens everyday. When it comes to films, all I ask is that the films I see be as good or better then the ideas I have for my scripts. Thus, watching “Rocky Balboa” was like being tortured over….and over…..and over again. It could not have been more pathetic. Thankfully, most my regular readers have seen it, so I won’t have to get into specifics. Had I spent $9.00 to see it in a theater, I would have gone to Stallone house to ask for my money back. It went from lame and boring to smaltz and shit back and forth and back and forth. When it was over I felt like I had witnessed a gangland murder. I felt sick,….and dirty.
I had to watch the entire first season of The Boondocks” in order to start feeling normal again.
If you haven't seen this film, consider yourself blessed.
Until next time,
The Godfather out
Labels: Cold War, Drugs, Films, God, Movies, Rocky, The Boondocks
posted by The Dude at
4:24 PM
2 Comments:
Yeah, but it was better than Rocky V, and that's all we could have asked for. To not make the movie at all would still have meant the series ended with an inferior film.
I think they were equally atrocious
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