The Prez on Little League Baseball
Little League baseball's greatest contribution to humanity is the movie the Bad News Bears. That flick has the most hilarious derogatory quotes off all time.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074174/quotes
But sadly......that is it. Without further Freddy Adu.....
The Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate the Little League World Series
10.New England teams are at a distinct disadvantage: Too much snow November-March.
9. Orel Hershiser-What a tool….a boring ass tool.
8. Little League parents are as bad show biz parents: Creating head cases nationwide. It is as bizarre as defending polygamy. Although, this situation became fodder for perhaps the funniest episode of South Park ever.
Randy: This is for what?! Arresting me for what?! I'm not allowed to stand up for myself?! I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America?! I'm sorry! I thought this was America!
TV reporter: How does it feel to be in the Colorado little league finals?
Stan: ...gay.
State Championship Player: Oh we are going down, we are going to get creamed.
Kyle: No. We are going to get creamed.
God I love that show.....
7. The Mercy Rule-Like it makes a kid feel any better that they had to stop playing in the 5th because the level of domination was so extreme. If your team is going to travel all the way to Pennsylvania to play baseball, you best bring it….
6. The line up for Dallas, Texas, “My name is Timmy Johnson, I play Center Field,…. and my Favorite player is Derek Jeter”. Your a Center Fielder kid, and you live in Dallas Texas. Go to a Rangers game. Say Gary Matthews Jr. is your favorite player or move to New York. Deal with it….Plus, Jeter sucks (penis) anyway.
5. Fake International Competition-Does bringing in a team from Europe that will get absolutely dominated by the Asian and Caribbean teams make up for the European continent’s dominance in Futbol? Don’t they understand all this dynamic does is push the Euro kids toward the beautiful game for good.
4. Freaks: One over sized dominating behemoth who pitches and hits like a major leaguer and the world title is in sight. More on this in a moment.
3. Fake Nationalism-Am I supposed to feel bad that a bunch of Ritalin addicted American kids lost to a bunch of Saki addicted Kama Kazi Japanese kids? Bitch please…..
2. Wall to Wall Coverage-This shit is ESPN’s third most bizarre infatuation behind poker and cheerleading. Put on more Soccer and Boxing on in the afternoon during these weeks, appeal to men…not pre-teens who will give up baseball for girls within in a year.
1. Commercialism and Greed (Obviously)- Leads to most of my angst. Danny Almonte was obviously three years older then the age limit. Now he is a minor leaguer some where and marrying a women in her mid thirties. You go Danny! Some of these kids playing now are like 5'11' 230lbs. Each of these geneic freaks becomes a regional hero, loads of media attention from national news outlets is heaped upon them, and they are inevitably disgraced for actually being a highschooler, while the team from Curacao are actually playing for a bag of grain. But the fact that Little League has become such a big business where the kids show boat regularly for the cameras and the way the media tries to market the event as and example of the purity of the game of baseball is a little bit evil. Like anything involving kids who play sports being put on a pedestal, this event reeks of parental exploitation. These kids are pimped out by their parents, their communities, and by ESPN. Watching these games simply lacks the satisfying happy ending.
Tanner Boyle: Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straignt up your ass!
Strength and Honor Comrades.....
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074174/quotes
But sadly......that is it. Without further Freddy Adu.....
The Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate the Little League World Series
10.New England teams are at a distinct disadvantage: Too much snow November-March.
9. Orel Hershiser-What a tool….a boring ass tool.
8. Little League parents are as bad show biz parents: Creating head cases nationwide. It is as bizarre as defending polygamy. Although, this situation became fodder for perhaps the funniest episode of South Park ever.
Randy: This is for what?! Arresting me for what?! I'm not allowed to stand up for myself?! I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America?! I'm sorry! I thought this was America!
TV reporter: How does it feel to be in the Colorado little league finals?
Stan: ...gay.
State Championship Player: Oh we are going down, we are going to get creamed.
Kyle: No. We are going to get creamed.
God I love that show.....
7. The Mercy Rule-Like it makes a kid feel any better that they had to stop playing in the 5th because the level of domination was so extreme. If your team is going to travel all the way to Pennsylvania to play baseball, you best bring it….
6. The line up for Dallas, Texas, “My name is Timmy Johnson, I play Center Field,…. and my Favorite player is Derek Jeter”. Your a Center Fielder kid, and you live in Dallas Texas. Go to a Rangers game. Say Gary Matthews Jr. is your favorite player or move to New York. Deal with it….Plus, Jeter sucks (penis) anyway.
5. Fake International Competition-Does bringing in a team from Europe that will get absolutely dominated by the Asian and Caribbean teams make up for the European continent’s dominance in Futbol? Don’t they understand all this dynamic does is push the Euro kids toward the beautiful game for good.
4. Freaks: One over sized dominating behemoth who pitches and hits like a major leaguer and the world title is in sight. More on this in a moment.
3. Fake Nationalism-Am I supposed to feel bad that a bunch of Ritalin addicted American kids lost to a bunch of Saki addicted Kama Kazi Japanese kids? Bitch please…..
2. Wall to Wall Coverage-This shit is ESPN’s third most bizarre infatuation behind poker and cheerleading. Put on more Soccer and Boxing on in the afternoon during these weeks, appeal to men…not pre-teens who will give up baseball for girls within in a year.
1. Commercialism and Greed (Obviously)- Leads to most of my angst. Danny Almonte was obviously three years older then the age limit. Now he is a minor leaguer some where and marrying a women in her mid thirties. You go Danny! Some of these kids playing now are like 5'11' 230lbs. Each of these geneic freaks becomes a regional hero, loads of media attention from national news outlets is heaped upon them, and they are inevitably disgraced for actually being a highschooler, while the team from Curacao are actually playing for a bag of grain. But the fact that Little League has become such a big business where the kids show boat regularly for the cameras and the way the media tries to market the event as and example of the purity of the game of baseball is a little bit evil. Like anything involving kids who play sports being put on a pedestal, this event reeks of parental exploitation. These kids are pimped out by their parents, their communities, and by ESPN. Watching these games simply lacks the satisfying happy ending.
Tanner Boyle: Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straignt up your ass!
Strength and Honor Comrades.....
posted by The Dude at
5:41 PM
3 Comments:
Did you see the Saudi bohemeth? 6' 8" 250 lbs.
The lesson, as always, Saudi Arabia owns the United States.
7% to be exact.
Lesson #2? Saudi Arabia gets away with everything in the U.S.
Including mass murder.
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